Baby Ben is born!!!

A MIRACLE!!! I now have my own little miracle of modern day to always remember and remind me that indeed miracles are still happening on the earth today. The details are very important and meaningful and personal to me, so forgive if it is TMI.

With my last child - Samantha - who was born just over 14 months ago, I had to have a planned c-section delivery because of placenta previa (placenta covering the cervix, leaving no way for the baby to get out). I had a really hard time with it, and found it to be altogether a very unpleasant experience...especially the recovery. For 6 weeks I was not supposed to lift anything over 10 lbs. That was very hard to do since I had an 18-month-old at home who needed my love and attention. But, we made it through the recovery period and I realized that life was okay and I was going to feel human and whole again.

There were, however, a couple of issues with the c-section I had that greatly increased my risk in future pregnancies, especially if I ever wanted to deliver VBAC. These are the cards that were stacked against me:

• The incision on my uterus had to be made higher than it normally would have, due to where the placenta was. An incision lower on the uterus is best because the lower part of the placenta is not muscular tissue and not as active, esp. during labor. My incision was right up next to the muscular tissue and therefore in a riskier spot.
• When they were pulling Samantha out, the incision tore, up into the muscular tissue, creating a T-shaped scar, which is very rare and significantly increases risk of uterine rupture in future pregnancies and labor.
• It is recommended that anyone who wants to attempt a VBAC wait at least 18-24 months before becoming pregnant again, in order to let the uterus heal properly. We got pregnant 6 months after my c-section!
• The doctor who performed my c-section said that I would always have to have c-sections with future pregnancies...period! Doctor knows best right?!....
• Plus we live in a state that is not very VBAC friendly to begin with.

But, when it came time to find a doctor for this pregnancy, I did some asking around and was able to find the doctor who would be most likely to let/help me do a VBAC if everything else in the pregnancy looked good. At all my appointments he would kind of talk about how the scheduled c-section would go, and I would always ask questions about "IF" I were able to do VBAC. He certainly knew my hearts' desire. We had a c-section scheduled on Feb. 25 (the due date was Feb. 26). He was awesome just to let me wait that long to schedule the c-section.

BUT I think that maybe baby Ben visited LucyMae in one of her dreams because for the week before he came, whenever we'd ask LucyMae when baby Ben was coming, she'd say "Tuesday!" with complete confidence. And she was right! So, here's the labor and delivery story:

Monday day (Feb. 21), I felt contractions all day - but nothing to alarm me, just uncomfortable and inconsistent. Then at about 8:00pm that night, just after we'd finished dinner and were cleaning up, I realized my water might have just broken. This is the same thing that happened with LucyMae....my water broke at 8:00pm, but I kind of denied it for about 30 min. because it was just a trickle and not super obvious at first. Same thing this time. I told Sam that my water might have just broken, but I wasn't sure. So for the next 30 min. I went back and forth between thinking it had and thinking it hadn't. But, eventually it became rather obvious. I was also a little distraught because I assumed this meant that I would have to have a c-section, because the doctor had said that if my water broke I would need to get to the hospital pretty quick, just in case. He had said that the only way he would consider the VBAC is if I showed up with contractions 4-5 min. apart, dilated to like a 7 and going quickly...so I assumed this was not the case and that he would say c-section!

Well, in the meantime, after my water broke, we got the girls to bed, got our hospital bags all ready to go (they were already mostly ready), called the doctor who said go to the hospital, and called a young lady from our ward who had already agreed to be our emergency phone call in this situation. She headed over to our house and we headed to the hospital at about 10:00ish. By this time the contractions were getting painful and coming more regularly (about every 3-4 minutes). I had to breathe through the contractions and stop a couple times on the way to labor and delivery from the ER. The nurses told us that I and this other girl that got there at the same time as me, were the only ones in labor and delivery that night. I think that was one huge blessing in my story. Not only were the nurses free to give me all the attention I needed, but I had FANTASTIC nurses! After they got us all checked in and settled in our room and the monitors put on me, we updated them on our whole situation and what the doctor had said. And they were already rooting for me to be able to do the VBAC. So, they checked me and I was only dilated to a 3! BUT, I was 80% effaced! She went to call my doctor, Dr. Diehl, who also happened to be the doctor on-call that night...which was also a huge blessing! Because any other doctor on-call probably would have been calling the shots and things would have gone very differently!

So, the nurse came back and said that Dr. Diehl had said that he would recommend a c-section, but that he would support me and let us choose if we still wanted to try the VBAC. We chose to try! Now, don't think I'm stupid here...I knew all the risks, I had prayed a lot about this, Sam had given me a beautiful blessing on Sunday night that helped me a lot in these decisions, and I felt ok about trying the VBAC right then. We were trying to follow the Spirit on this one very carefully, because we both wanted more than anything to have a healthy baby and mom when it was all over.

So, I labored naturally for the next couple hours. Sam was a great labor coach. We did much better this time than we did with LucyMae. But, things were a little different this time. We had a time-limit on this one. So, at 1:00 in the morning I asked the nurses to check me again. I was only at a 4 to a 4 1/2. This was discouraging. So, for several reasons, we opted for the epidural at this point. When I was in labor with LucyMae, and dilating very slowly, the epidural helped me relax and I dilated MUCH faster. So we thought the epidural would help me go quicker AND if I did end up in a c-section I would already have the epidural, so they could just give me the strong dose, and I would be able to be awake for my baby's birth. I got the epidural at about 1:45ish in the morning, and Sam and I settled in to try to get some rest, while the nurses anxiously watched the monitors out at the nurses' station (and they assured me they were watching them very closely).

Sam got a couple hours of sleep I think, but my mind was racing too much to let me sleep really, and after a little while the epidural started working less and less on my left side (funny how with LucyMae same thing - way stronger numbness on my right side).  I started to really be able to feel the contractions. Plus people were coming in every now and then to check things. At about 4:00ish the nurse checked me again and I was only at a 5 and the contractions were slowing down!!!! AHHH!! NOT what we needed to happen (or so I thought....but I think now that this too was probably a blessing in some way. I had read many things on-line about attempting a VBAC in my situation and the thing that stood out to me most was "slow and steady is best". The exact opposite of what my doctor had said....I think this slowing of my labor was exactly what my uterus needed somehow:)) The nurse said that Dr. Diehl had actually just called (at 4:00am - he was checking in...not normal the nurse said...he cared!), and she had told him that my labor was slowing, so he told her to give me a very small dose of pitocin. At first this worried me, because most things I read also said that pitocin, or other labor-inducing drugs, were a big "no-no" when attempting any VBAC. But the nurse said it was a VERY small dose, a fraction of what is normally used, and after a minute to think about it, we felt ok to go ahead with it. So, after 30 minutes of that low dose, contractions were starting to go again, but not good enough. So they increased the dose just a hair, and after another 20-30 minutes the contractions were getting very strong, and I was REALLY feeling them now, even though I had started pushing the button to try to get a little more of the anesthesia (it all went to my right side for some reason).

The nurse came in again to check me at about 5:15ish and I was at a 7! FINALLY! She was in the room doing a couple other things after that...getting the baby's stuff ready and turning me and changing pads and stuff. It was about 20 minutes that she was in the room, and all the while I was feeling the contractions pretty strong and feeling a lot of pressure with each one. I told her I was feeling the pressure, so she decided to check me again, even though she normally wouldn't after only 20 min. She checks me and says "WHOA! You're a 10! And the head is RIGHT there! If you feel the need to push, DON'T! I'm going to call the doctor". And she literally RAN out of the room with a giddy little laugh! So, they called the doctor and proceeded to get everything ready for the birth. All the nurses were so excited and Sam was fully awake now, and I was just in awe that this was really happening! Luckily the doctor only lives 10 min. away from the hospital. He was there in no time. We were ready! I pushed through one contraction, and his head came out! (I was a little nervous at this point, because I had to push for 1.5 hours with LucyMae). On the second contraction I pushed once and he came out all the way!!!! MY MIRACLE BABY!!!! Born at 6:02am. When his head came out the doctor unwrapped the umbilical from around his neck, twice! We consider it to be a miracle that his heart-rate never alarmed the nurses in any way with that being the case, because normally it would. And the nurses assured me that if it had, they would have had me in a c-section in an instant...they were all ready to go!

I held my baby boy on my chest and choked back the overwhelming tears of joy and complete gratitude so that I didn't become a basket-case in front of all these people. I wanted to save my crying-fest for when I was alone. I just thanked everyone over and over again for my miracle. Dr. Diehl acknowledged the miracle of it all, and said that in his family they call it "bull-headed". But he said it with a smile. He seemed pretty happy about the outcome of that labor as well. The nurses were practically giddy with delight. The room felt rather celebratory!:) The doctor was also amazed that my placenta, which was anterior (meaning in the front - attached to my c-section scar tissue), came out so easily because they often have a hard time detaching from that scar tissue. And he said that he felt my scar on my uterus and all was intact and good! Speaking of my anterior placenta though...that was another reason I really didn't like the idea of a c-section on this one. They would have had to cut through my placenta or something, which would have been very bloody, the doctor said. I don't really know the details of how that would have worked, but it didn't sound good to me.

ALSO, I didn't tear at all! I consider that a miracle, because I did tear a bit with LucyMae...and it HURT. The healing of that was not fun. This time, I was literally pain-free, other than the soreness from where my epidural had been. To me this meant the world because I have 2 other children that need their mom to be able to hug and hold and cuddle with and lift them. I was overwhelmed by how fully functional I was already after the epidural wore off. When I was still in the hospital after having Samantha, Sam and I were walking/creeping down the hall the day after. I was in pain, but trying to get up and start moving around a little, but very slowly. We saw another girl walking down the hall telling someone that she had just delivered her baby a couple hours ago - and she was all showered, wearing regular clothes, and didn't look like she had experienced any pain. I hated that girl right then! I was completely envious of her. I WAS THAT GIRL THIS TIME!!! I could walk, stand, sit-up, roll over, cough/sneeze, etc....all pain-free!!!! IT WAS A MIRACLE!

So, there you have it...my labor and delivery story. TMI I know for many of you, but you didn't have to read it:) We got to go home the next day at noon. I got to hold my LucyMae and Samantha. They were so excited to see their new little brother and haven't stopped loving and adoring him since. Now the challenge is trying to figure out how to juggle all their needs/wants all day long by myself. I had one day on my own, and then my mom came for 4 1/2 days. THAT was a lifesaver! She was so much help - cooking and cleaning and playing with kiddos. But, then she had to go home! LucyMae keeps asking where gramma Michelle went? Why? And saying "I want Gramma Michelle!"

Now I have survived 2.5 days on my own with these kids, and it's going ok....but I am anxiously awaiting the help of Sam's parents who are coming next week. I am pretty proud of myself though because I have "successfully" cleaned the house and gone shopping now with 3 kids 2 and under in tow! THAT is an accomplishment if you ask me!

Here are few pictures of the fun we've been having around here. It's hard to remember to get the camera out as often as I would like with 3 kids demanding attention all the time. But luckily my picture-taking mother was here for a few days, with her very nice camera, to capture a lot of moments. I'll post those pictures when I get copies of them...but be prepared for CUTE when they come!

It's been FREEZING around these parts lately...so we've been in the house a lot! The pictures of outside in the snow are when it "warmed up" to the teens for a couple days. But mostly we've been hunkered down in our house surviving the cold. I, for one, am QUITE READY for Spring to make it's beautiful appearance! Then this 3 kids thing will be a little more doable I think. Not so much bundling up! Ok, I am done rambling now...enjoy the pics.