Baby James

I need to write this all down before it gets foggy.....

So, sweet baby James joined our little family on Friday, June 28, 2013 at 8:45am. He weighed 7 lbs. 8 oz. and was 20.2 inches long. He has much darker hair than any of our other kids have, and we're still hoping to really see some red in it....? He is wonderful! So, here's the story of his arrival.

His actual due date was July 5th. I have had quite the roller-coaster ride trying to find a hospital/doctors/midwifery willing to let me try a VBAC again, AND that take my insurance. Even though I have already done one, VBACs in general are not very popular around here. And the fact that the doctors who did my previous c-section wrote "NOT A CANDIDATE FOR VBAC" on my op report has made it much more difficult. But, about 1 month and a week ago, I found a midwifery that sounded hopeful about their collaborating doctors. I started going to my appointments with them and scheduled my VBAC consult with their doctor and just prayed that this seeming headache was somehow the answer to my prayers. Turns out it was!!!! If only we could have hindsight to get us through those emotionally  and faith-trying moments....I know! That is stupid...then it wouldn't be a faith-trying moment....but I do wish I could have more faith and less doubt and despair in those moments when I look back on them.

So...I went to my appointment with the midwives on Wednesday, June 26 and they checked me....I was already dilated to a 3! That has never happened to me before. I'm usually a 3 after a few hours of labor. I had lost my mucus-plug (sorry if it's TMI) a few days earlier, which was a new thing for me, so I was hoping that maybe things would just be different this time. And hearing I was already at a 3 was GREAT! So, now I was just hoping that I wouldn't go into labor before I was done teaching on Thursday night because we need the money, I had a new student coming, and I didn't want to try to schedule make-ups. But all Wednesday afternoon I was just UNCOMFORTABLE and I think having contractions (I have never experienced real contractions/labor without my water broken before...so I don't really know what it feels like). I thought that the baby might be coming. And with the discharge since losing my mucus-plug, I kept having false alarms that my water had broken. My little prayer was that labor and baby would wait until after 7:00pm on Thursday night. My other hope and prayer was to experience a bit of my labor (as much as possible) BEFORE my water broke. With hindsight I think that I gave up the one for the other on Wednesday night. I think (total speculation) I could have had labor with my water unbroken Wednesday night OR I could wait until Thursday night. Can't have it all I guess.

Anyway, I tried to take it pretty easy the rest of Wednesday night and all day Thursday. But I also felt like there were lots of things to get done before baby came.........(now I am writing this in January 2014......hopefully my memory will still be good....)

I finished teaching violin lessons at 7:00 on Thursday and we ate dinner and put the kids to bed. Then, as I was washing dishes at the sink (8:30pm - just like every other time), I was pretty sure my water actually just broke....but - it wasn't SO different from the past few days that I was positive. So I just went in the bathroom and checked...."Sam - I think it might be time to have a baby....?"  I had said the same thing a couple of times the day before, so it was kind of like crying wolf. But it became more and more clear that my water had indeed broken and baby #4 would be joining us soon. So we packed our bags, and started making phone calls for someone to come stay with our kids. And we went in and told LucyMae and Samantha we would be gone in the morning and have a new baby (they were both pretty asleep and didn't process a lot of it I don't think).

And we called the midwives. They suggested I get some rest until labor starts. But in the past my labor has started within 1 hour of my water breading, so I didn't think I'd be able to get any rest. I went for a walk instead to try to get things going. That didn't work, and it was 11:00 by now, so I called the midwife again and she said "Just go to bed, but if labor hasn't started, be to the hospital by 6:30am. So we went to bed, got a little bit of sleep, and around 3:00am contractions started - though far apart and not too painful. But around 5:00am they started hurting a bit more and getting a lot closer together. Our alarms went off at 5:30 so we got up and got ready. Jenny Kimball, from our ward and who's kids were out of town for the week, was good enough to come stay at our house for the morning.

By the time Jenny came and we were getting in the car I was in a lot of pain and really having to concentrate and breathe during contractions. The car ride was incredibly uncomfortable and long for me. We got to the hospital at 6:30am, and even let them push me in a wheel-chair since it was a LONG way to labor and delivery...but that was pretty darn uncomfortable too! We finally made it to labor and delivery. I got all gowned-up, the I.V. put in, monitor, etc. I had already given up the idea of doing anything but laying on the bed and moaning. Things were getting really painful - and I was "finding my voice" (as explained so wonderfully in Birthing from Within. The midwife checked me and I was already a 5! That is really good news for me and my labors! But - I still had a ways to go and I was HURTING! Thank heaven for my wonderful midwife and nurses. They were such an answer to prayers. Anyone who has ever had a baby knows how important good nurses are in labor and delivery! They were SUPER supportive of the VBAC and the NO meds. Sam was awesome too - he did the best he knew how, and much better than in the past. I just didn't love his loud, cheering "YOU CAN DO IT!" voice:) We'll have to practice something different if there is a next time.

Anyway, my way of coping with the pain was not what I expected it to be. I thought I'd wanted to be up and trying to move around and try different positions as much as possible. I thought breathing through contractions would be a good technique for me and non-focused awareness. BUT when the pain was less, breathing and centering on and exploring the pain worked. Then, once we were at the hospital and the pain was much worse and increasing I only wanted to lay in the bed, on my side, with my eyes closed and just MOAN through each contraction. It was easier for me to just keep my eyes closed and stay in my own little world during and in between contractions. I "found my voice" - that was my pain-coping technique. And as I was getting to the point of tears and ready to beg for the epidural (thankfully nobody had mentioned or offered it yet) my midwife checked me again. I was at a 10!!!! AWESOME! But she said it was time to push, and I didn't really feel like pushing yet. But I didn't have the energy to say that or insist on it. They got the bed set up and started cheering/pushing me to push. I didn't want to. It didn't feel time yet. And part of me felt like getting on my hands and knees, but the rest of me was too tired and in pain to try to move. And in between a lot of contractions I didn't feel like I got a break from pain because the baby was pushing/stretching/kicking/whatever, and it HURT!

Anyway - I ended up pushing through like 10-15 contractions or so (maybe more) before baby came out, and I think it's because my body wasn't ready to push yet. We were doing forced pushing. And then, when baby did come - HOLY *%^@*#^ did that hurt! I have NEVER heard myself scream like that before. I didn't know I could scream like that. I didn't know my body could feel pain like that and be okay. UNBELIEVABLE pain! He came out fast though (it even left him a little bruised). And then he was on my chest, but I could hardly focus on enjoying the moment of holding my newborn baby because the midwife was causing me so much pain still (birthing the placenta and cleaning me out, etc.) Man - that hurt still. I'm still kind of sad that I didn't get to enjoy those first moments with my new baby a little more. He did pee all over himself and me as they were placing him on me...marking his territory right away:)

And then they took him to weigh him and clean him up a bit (in the same room). He was crying great and opening his eyes. Wish I could have fed him right away like I did LucyMae...oh well... He has a head of dark blonde hair that seems to have a bit of curl...(which has not lasted - now that he is 7 months old)

As the midwife was cleaning me up and pushing clots out, etc. I was asking how many tears I had. With that kind of searing pain I was sure I had a dozen. But she cleaned and checked and assured me there were NO tears! So - after she finally stopped working on me and my body had a moment to relax, I realized all the pain was gone and I could feel my legs and life was GREAT! I DID IT!!!!! I had one of my babies all natural - with no meds! Life-long dream and prayer answered! Hindsight is such a wonderful thing. I love being able to look back over the last 6 months to see how blessed and watched over I've been. The Lord is somehow aware of and cares enough to orchestrate even the little details of our lives - those that may not really matter in the grander scheme, but that are important to me and dear to my heart.

Anyway - kids were all sick with fevers at our friends' house (the Payne's) house by late morning. So we finally decided on the baby's name just before Sam left to pick them up and take them home for naps and stuff. That was the first time we hadn't been totally decided on a name before the baby was born. And this time it was 5 hours after he was born. He is James Cannon Evans (James after my great-great-great-great grandpa James Eyre, who was the first to join the church on the Eyre side, in Europe - great story about him, and Cannon after Sam's side - George Q. Cannon). And I got to sit and snuggle my babe and take joy in the fact that he came only 2 hours after we got to the hospital. It was glorious. So many tender mercies from the Lord.

Sam brought the kids to pick us up and go home the next day after lunch. They were all super excited to meet their new little brother. It was a super hot and sunny day - which means HUMID around here. I knew before, but now I know from experience that June/July/August is NOT a good time to have a baby - all that warm, snuggly skin next to your own hot, sweaty body all the time....sticky! And we don't have great air conditioning - just window units that barely keep the house bearable.

Anyway - that's my baby #4 story. We love him and are so grateful for him and all the tender mercies and blessings that have come with him!